Family Ties

I drove to Texas last Friday morning for a family funeral. A dear niece died suddenly and unexpectedly and, in my family, the aunts, uncles, and cousins all rally round when tragedies occur. If they live too far to gather, they call, email, send flowers, and variously stay connected. It doesn't matter whether you were born into the family group or married into it, you are a part of the whole. From as far as Arizona, Colorado, Minnesota, Indiana, and Florida, they express concern. It doesn't change the outcome, but I can tell you from personal experience that it spreads a balm over the soul.
As I drove home yesterday (it took nine hours so I had plenty of time to think), I pondered the ways in which families maintain the bonds that hold them together through thick and thin. Even while we mourned, we took time to do so much more. We spent time listening to the oldest among us (not me, not yet), inquiring after their well-being and laughing at familiar stories. We sympathized and encouraged the adult children who are now caretakers of those frail in body or mind. We found out about a new baby on the way, admired the toddlers,and applauded teenagers for school accomplishments. We expressed relief when we discovered layoffs are over and jobs are still safe. We remembered those who couldn't be with us, caught up on their lives by asking others, updated email addresses, and noted those who could use a bit of follow-up later. I told a story to a five year old who needed a bit of distraction and is now old enough to remember his great-aunt next time we're together in June for the family reunion.
Does this matter? You bet it does. Even when we're on opposite sides in some matters, we never, ever let those differences drive us apart. These people are our family, our kin, and no matter what happens, we belong together. If you are separated from family members by distance, either geographic or psychological, I urge you to do what you can to strengthen your own family ties. And do remember that families don't always have to be blood relations. In addition to the family I mentioned above, I have another one right here where I live - friends that I'd do exactly the same things for because they are very dear to me and the bonds of friendship can be equally strong and good.
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